The Whole Horror
by Hajiscello
Summary: Frank, Riff Raff, and Magenta, how they got here and what happens after the movie. This completely disreguards the Revenge of the Old Queen. Frank is the main character. Pairings RiffXMagenta and either FrankXOC or FrankXColumbia.
1. Car Trouble

**First chapter of The Whole Horror! I hope it's not too stupid. I don't know wheather anybody will find this funny or not, but I try my best. Frank is kind of the main character though others will get their own chapters too. Feel freeto review or if anyone has ideas, that'd help too.**

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Frank looked around and sighed. So much work and so little time. The whole place was covered in cobwebs. Not that he minded some cobwebs, they usually gave places a sexy, dark look, but when you had to practically swim through them...well, that was no fun.

"Magenta, Riff Raff. Start cleaning up a bit. I'm going to go to town in that contraption on wheels and get some materials for the lab." He was replied by a "Yes, master," from both of them which was far more satisfying than "Whatever, Frank." or "uh okay" He took the shiny thing his old partner had given him and started trying to figure out how the heck he'd get the door open. Steve, his partner who had been working on Earth for awhile, had told him it was the "key" to getting the "car" going. Maybe it was some kind of riddle he mused. He poked the door with it and said.

"Open!" Nothing happened. "I command you to open!" Again nothing. Getting fed up with failing he called Magenta over. "See what you can do, Magenta," He growled, thrusting the key into her hands.

"Open!" She cried poking the key to the door. Frank shook his head.

"I already tried that," She sighed and got into the box like area in the back. She brandished the key above her head.

"Go! Start! Flee! Run! GET GOING YOU PIECE OV JUNK!!" She fumed and came back to stand in front of Frank. "I've done everything I could think ov, Master." Frank took the key back and silently fumed.

"Master. Master!" A low voice called. Frank turned to see Riff Raff holding out a hand for the key. Frank tossed it to him and he promptly marched up to the car door.

"To unlock it you put the key into the slot, like this, Master." Frank stared in awe as Riff Raff slipped the key into the lock easily. "And then you turn it 'till it clicks." Riff did so and pulled the door open smoothly.

"How did you know that Riff Raff?" He asked staring at the now open door. Magenta stood next to him with exactly the same expression. To Riff it was priceless, but he answered in the same tone as always.

"I studied when they gave me the books and told me to study." Frank looked shocked.

"But you could have been doing so many other... more pleasurable things!" Riff Raff simply rolled his eyes in reply. He turned back to the car and pointed out a few other details of how to drive it.

Ten Minutes Later

"...when the light is red stop, when it's green go and put this stick to The P before you get out," He finished at last. Frank, who had stopped listening after he Riff told him how to start it nodded and held out his hand for the key.

"I think I am ready now," He beamed enthusiastically jumping into the drivers seat. Riff Raff reluctantly gave his master the key and scrambled away from the car as fast as he could. He took Magenta's arm and lead her close to the house.

"I have a bad feeling about letting him drive," He muttered to her as the engine roared to life.

"Don't vorry, he'll do fi-" Bang! "Okay, vell, he von't do fine per se, but I'm sure he von't kill too many people," They stared as Frank struggled to get the car on the road straight, running into tree's every few seconds. Finally after about ten minutes of work he was on the road perfectly.

"I wiil be back soon!" He called from the window. "At least have the front corridor clean by the time I get back!" He rounded a corner. Bang! Riff Raff sighed.

"Maybe he'll get himself killed and we'll be freed of this burden." Magenta laughed softly.

"Frank is too much like a cockroach to get killed by anything human-made." She said, but softened at Riff's forlorn look. "At least ve'll have more time together, my sweet brother." He kissed her lightly and they decided to take up arms against the horribly dirty castle in hopes to have some 'leisure' time together.


	2. The Mission

**Yay, a new chapter! This ones a bit more serious than the other. A new character is introduced and we discover why Frank is on earth. A warning to die hard Frank fans: I am giving him a bit of punishment for beating Riff Raff in the movie, even though I like Frank better, but I'm pretty sure I won't be doing it again.**

**I forgot a disclaimer on the first chapter, oops.**

**I, unfortunately, do not own Rocky Horror, though I am consistantly offering to take it off O'Brians hands for him. I am not gaining anything by doing this except a sense of satisfaction by getting my ideas out there.**

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Frank drove recklessly through the forest, his mind wandering to recent events.

**Flashback:**

Riff, Frank, and Magenta, who had been acting as partners for the past fortnight, were once again arguing amongst themselves, this time over who would have the misfortune of reporting to the Boss-man of their most recent (and most unsuccessful) misadventure. Riff Raff, of course, would not hear of Magenta putting herself in such a dangerous situation, so the task would fall with either Frank or Riff himself.

"It should be you," Frank snarled in a low voice. "You tripped on our way out and broke the Molecular Disperser!"

"We wouldn't have had run in the first place, Frank," Riff Raff hissed matching Frank's menace. "If your heel hadn't snapped when sneaking to the vault!" Frank, not able to make a comeback, realized that he had lost the round and stuck out his tongue at the pair before sweeping off towards the bosses office.

With a critical eye, he poured over his reflection in a pocket mirror the moment he arrived outside the door. _Maybe I can seduce him into not killing me, _he thought without much conviction, carefully making sure his dark red lipstick was not in any way smudged. Once thoroughly convinced his appearance was flawless, he knocked politely thrice.

"Enter," Came the usual voice of Arthur McCarran, his commander. Tentatively, he pushed the door open and found himself in almost complete darkness broken only a small candle on Arthur's desk.

"Frank," He began appearing next to Frank suddenly. "I suppose the reason only you have shown up is failure, is it not?" Frank shuddered, Arthur was both frightening and, oh, so tempting. But he was also married (an odd thing for a Transylvanian, but not unheard of) and very stubbornly attached to the woman. He fell to his knees to make sure the blows would not touch his chest or face.

"I am afraid that is the case, sir." He practically whispered. The first blow came faster than usual, making Frank wince more from surprise than pain. So Arthur had been told of their failure ahead of time. He endured a few more cracks from the whip Arthur was always brandishing about, when the door banged open so hard it threatened to fall off it's hinges.

"Arthur, Boss, Sir!" Both men started and their heads turned sharply at the intruder. It was one of the lower downs of the Transylvanian Secret Service (TSS for short) for which Frank worked as a spy/scientist/agent/anything else they decided they needed. The lesser agent looked around frantically for Arthur and spoke quickly and breathlessly at the room at large. "The princess, sir, she's terribly ill! On the verge of dying!" Frank stared at the man. The princess was ill? It was a hard thing to believe, for the princess was cared for with the utmost caution.

"How did this happen?" Arthur's voice sounded just as incredulous as Frank felt. The henchman shrugged and quickly continued his panicked speech.

"The queen has ordered you to send your best scientist out in the universe to find a cure or a way to prolong her life. The doctors say she's expected to live only another year!" Arthur looked down at Frank when he'd mentioned their 'best scientist'. He sighed.

"Tell her I am sending Frank-N-Furter on the job. He'll be assisted by Riff and Magenta Raff." Arthur said in a resigned voice. "They'll leave once they are given all information on the princesses state." The underling nodded and held a folder out to Arthur's general direction and left the moment it had been taken.

"Sir?" Frank asked when Arthur hadn't spoken for a few minutes.

"Don't fail this time, Frank, it could mean your death." He whispered then continued in his normal no-nonsense tone. "Your punishment can wait. Seek out Riff and Magenta. Tell them of the mission and bring them back as fast as possible. Get going!" Frank shot out the door as fast as his platform heels could carry him.

**End flashback:**

Frank jumped when a horn honked from behind him. He tried to see what the fuss was about, but he thought he was doing everything right. He had stopped at the green light just like he'd been told. _Or was I supposed to stop at red? _He musedas more horns sounded behind him. He gave up trying to remember and just followed everybody else. He looked around at the stores, hoping to see something of use. _A pharmacy can tell me where to get supplies._ He thought upon seeing one. He hit the brake abruptly and screeched to a stop (a couple of cars had to swerve to keep from hitting him, but he paid them no mind) and got out to find many angry people yelling at him. He stuck his tongue out at them, notquite sure why they were angry.

"Yo. What dope you on to think you can do that?" A rude voice called from behind him. He turned to see about seven shady looking people approaching him with violent intent shining in their eyes. When they caught sight of him they broke down with hysterical laughter.

"Why would I be sitting on a dope?" He asked, genuinely confused. The group ignored his words completely.

"A little confused about our gender, are we?" One of them asked tauntingly. Frank raised a penciled on eyebrow as more taunts were thrown at him. Then words Riff Raff had spoken on the galaxy ship surfaced. _You probably should be careful about your dress habits. _Riff had said._ Humans generally think transvestites are creepy and they are usually frowned upon._ Frank, who had been busy asking Magenta if his make-up was perfect, merely waved the comment off and told him he sounded like a text book. Now he knew what Riff had meant, but it didn't make sense to him. In Transylvania half of the men dressed like women and half the women dressed like men and nobody thought twice about it. Heck even Arthur occasionally went drag.

"What say you guys," The guy in front asked. "We give him a little lesson about what we do to his type?" Scattered sadistic cheers answered him and switch blades appeared from their pockets. This Frank understood perfectly. Though blades were generally not used anymore in Transylvania, those without money could get their hands on one easily and would knife other folks to get what they wanted. When he was a Noob to the TSS he had dealt with a lot of knifings. They broke in a run at him suddenly, but Frank was prepared. He lunged at the car and jumped over the box thing that Riff had said was used for storage, landing perfectly on the other side. The fastest two thugs fell into his trap. He threw the door open just as they rounded around the front of the car. With a satisfying thud they smashed into the door hard and fell to the ground. He gave the closest a quick kick before breaking into a run again. He checked behind him quickly and to his relief only five pursued him at this point. The other two must've been out cold. He turned abruptly in front of a shop with large display windows in the front. The five surrounded him quickly to make sure there was no escape and raised their knives.

"No where to run now," One said happily. Frank sneered at him. These guys were too gullible.

"That's what you think." He replied cockily.

The fun was about to begin.

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**Reviews are welcome! And so are ideas if anybody cares enough to give them.**


	3. Newfound Friends

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**Third chapter someone we all know comes in, but no intimacy yet. I'm getting to that part don't worry. I just need to set the stone rolling first. **

**I don't own anything except for Arthur and a couple of OCs that I made.**

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Eddie watched the witty transvestite from the shadows. In one move he had taken down two members of the gang of idiots. They had no brains at all, Eddie would admit, but they were tough. However the tide seemed to have turned. The guy was cornered next to a men's fashion store. _This is it for him,_ he thought sadly. He had actually found himself rooting for the transvestite, despite being leader of the gang chasing him. Eddie had never been one for discrimination. If he knifed somebody it wasn't going to be because of the way they dressed.

To his surprise, the man still had a cocky air to him as if he knew he had this fight in the bag. The gangster in the middle lunged. The man ducked and with one hand grabbed his attackers knife arm and with the other took hold of his shirt. With a fluid, practiced movement he fell backwards and threw the man through the shop window, head first into a mannequin. Glass showered the other four and one fell backwards screaming about his eyes. Transvestite man sat up carrying a few cuts of his own, but looking all and all undeterred by them. The man sticking out of the shop window wasn't moving as far as Eddie could see and the guy with glass in his eyes wasn't about to keep fighting.

The man had gotten to his feet and had a confidant smile plastered on his face. The remaining three looked murderous and Eddie could tell trouble was brewing for the man.

"Leave now and I promise I won't hurt you," He said airily as if he were merely commenting on the weather. Eddie found his spirit admirable and decided it was a good time to intervene.

"Hey, you bastards!" He called coming out of hiding. The three attackers spun around to face him.

"E-Eddie!" One stammered quite sure the appearance of his boss meant nothing good.

"You guys are weeeak!" Eddie said laughing at the destruction then focused on the three, his eyes shining with murderous intent. "You guys had better get out of here before I show you what a real knifing is like, got it?" His former mates dropped their knives and ran for it, leaving him and the transvestite next to the shop. "I don't want to see your mugs again!" He called at their retreating forms.

"Who are you?" The man asked warily. Eddie smiled.

"The name's Eddie, what about you?" The man, still looking suspicious, straightened his stance.

"Frank." He answered then looked at the dots in the distance. "Why did you help me?" Eddie shrugged and looked over at the truck in the middle of the street.

"You'd better move that before somebody calls the cops," He said gesturing to it. Frank looked confused.

"Why would they do that?" He asked. Eddie couldn't believe the guy. He put an arm around his shoulders and pointed to the car.

"See where it's parked? In the middle of the street there?" Frank nodded. "Well, you see, that's illegal," He said slowly, as if he were talking to a two year old. Frank cocked his head to the side.

"Riff Raff just told me to just stop the car. What did I do wrong?" He put on a pouting face, poking his bottom lip out slightly. He looked disappointed that he'd done something wrong. _Kinda like a child,_ Eddie thought.

"Do you even have a drivers license, dude?" He asked. Frank looked confused again.

"What's a 'drivers license dude?'" He asked much to Eddies chagrin. "What did I say?" He added upon seeing Eddies face darken with anger. Eddie glared at him.

"Where are you even from?" He asked with the growing feeling that the guy was screwing with him. Frank, who seemed to have the look of a lost puppy permanently affixed to his face answered without a second thought.

"Transylvania, why?" Eddie relaxed. That explained why he didn't know anything. He guided Frank back to the car and offered to drive him home. Frank smiled toothily.

"Thank you, but why?" Eddie thought about it. Truthfully, he didn't know why he wanted to help Frank. There was nothing in it for him, was there? Somewhere deep inside Eddie a voice was screaming _Because I'm attracted to you!_, but Eddie hadn't looked inside himself that far for a long time so the message never reached his brain. He shrugged and ushered the man into the passengers seat.

"Hold on, Eddie. I have got to get some stuff," Frank said resisting getting in the pick-up truck. Eddie rolled his eyes.

"I'm a delivery boy anyway, just write it all down an' I'll get it later. If you're jumped again it could be by people a lot tougher than those guys." Resigned, Frank jumped in the car. They drove off, Eddie wondering still just why he was doing this.

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**Please let me know what you think. Or if there is anything wrong. Or if you have any ideas. Or if you just wanted to say something random. Thank you.**


	4. Cleaning

**This one's about Magenta and Riff, but it's pretty pointless actually, just trying to get Frank home and end the first day of their adventure. There will be a time skip in the next chapter and the story will progress.**

**The only things I own are Arthur, Steve, and another OC who has yet to be mentioned. Oh, and the thugs who tried to beat Frank up, but I'm auctioning them off.**

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Magenta watched Riff Raff get hopelessly tangled in a huge mass of cobwebs and sighed.

"Don't worry, Magenta, my sweet, you don't need to dirty yourself with a job such as this!" He called, flailing his arms wildly trying in vain to clear a few of the sticky strands. She loved him dearly, but sometimes he was too protective. She was touched that he cared so deeply, but if he was going to let himself get drowned by cobwebs, well it was time to lay a few ground rules.

"Riff get out ov zere, clean yourselv ov, and I'll clean avhile," Riff protested as Magenta pulled him out of the corridor and onto the lawn. "I'm sorry, dear, but let me help you once and avhile," Riff smiled sheepishly, which was a treat he saved especially for her.

"I'm sorry," He whispered. She kissed him gently, and one thing led to another, and soon they were on the ground snogging avidly. So avidly, in fact, that they didn't notice the sound of an engine getting closer.

"Aha!" A voice almost squealed. Magenta looked and saw, much to her horror, a very excited looking Frank leaning out of the passenger side window and a heavy-set guy driving the black pick-up truck. "I was right! You are lovers!(At this point Riff and Magenta jumped away from the other) You always get on to me for my weird relationships, but I haven't got anything on you! Mind you I don't have any family to seduce, but still..."

"I vell on him, you idiot!" Magenta yelled turning the colour of her hair. Frank and the other guy had left the car at this point. Frank was practically skipping up to them when he said.

"It's Master now, remember, and your secrets safe with me, I'm happy for you guys. I'm just a bit angry because you are very erotic and I won't be able to get you now, but oh, well. One can't have them all." Riff Raff shot daggers with his eyes, but Frank remained oblivious. "This is Eddie, by the way he's going to teach me how to drive!" Frank said with all the vigour of a school girl. Magenta noted that the gleam in his eyes said he wanted to do more than learn to drive, but Eddie didn't seem to notice.

"Uh, Frank, give me the list of things you need and I'll get on that. I might be able to get it by tomorrow." Frank nodded happily and then his face fell.

"You wouldn't happen to have paper, would you?" He asked everyone. No answer. He sighed and threw an apologetic smile at Eddie. Magenta saw a slight change in Eddies face at that moment, but it took awhile to tell what it meant. He looked... happy... and a little desire-full. _My god! _She thought. _He's already got an earthling after him and it's only the first day!_ Eddie thought for a moment.

"I'll come by tomorrow with some basic everyday stuff then you can give me the list, 'kay?" Frank nodded and waved Eddie goodbye as he took off strolling back through the forest. Once they were sure he was out of earshot Riff and Magenta turned on Frank.

"Have you already forgotten your mission, 'Master'?" Riff hissed. Magenta felt like strangling Frank at that moment, but held herself back.

"Getting involved vith earthlings so leisurely vill get us discovered!" She growled at Frank. Frank smiled at them.

"It's nothing to worry about," He answered. "It's one person and he's not exactly the hottest laser in the arsenal, trust me." He strolled over to the front door of the castle and opened it. "Let's see if we can clear up a few bedrooms tonight and try to clear up a lab area tomorrow, okay?

"Yes, Master," They replied in a deadpan. Frank and Riff Raff walked over to a bush and pulled out a large box they had hidden there earlier. Inside was a Transylvanian vacuum cleaner, which was about 50 times better than Earth vacuum cleaners and one of the many inventions of Frank's that made him famous in Transylvania. The only drawback being that it required three people to manage and that if you got caught in it you were likely to lose more than a few limbs.

For half an hour they tangled with the machine, gaining a more than a few bruises while at it. They decided to go manual when Riff got an especially bad whack and was sent flying into a pile of webs and furniture.

In a few hours they were lounging about on the dusty armchairs, panting heavily.

"I suddenly remember why I hate cleaning," Frank said wiping the sweat from his brow and replacing it with smears of dust. Magenta laughed at him and Riff joined in in no time. "Yes, yes. It's all very funny, isn't it!?" He snapped sarcastically, but he was smiling too.

"Permission to retire, Master?" Magenta asked smearing dirt across her face in a similar way Frank had. Frank pretended to think about it for a second.

"Well, I guess you dogs have worked hard enough for today," He smiled like the devil and winked at them knowingly. "If you feel like a threesome, call me," Riff rolled his eyes and Magenta flicked a dead spider at her pretend master. Frank stuck his tongue out at them as they ran up the partially clean stairs and out of sight. Magenta showered hurriedly (for by some miracle the plumbing worked) and met Riff in his room. Neither had any intention of calling Frank as they fell into bed chuckling.

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**And so we come to the end of a completely pointless chapter. Next one will be more interesting, I promise. Review please.  
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	5. The First Seduction

**Chapter five is finally here. Sorry it took me so long. The chapter after this will be about frank and eddie and the chapter after that will be about riff and magenta, just so you know.**

**To Isla Rose and The Lord of Snark: Thank you for your wonderful reviews. They have kept me writing. I'm glad someone likes it.**

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Columbia bolted out the door just as the grocer called.

"Stop! Thief!" It's not like she'd taken much, a couple of apples and a bit of bread she'd had to flatten to fit into her jacket. Just enough to live on. A pick-up truck skidded to a stop just as she ran into the street. Her deer-in-headlights instincts kicked in and she stopped dead staring at the guy-lady-thing in the truck. A transvestite had almost run over her.

"This way!" A voice called. She looked behind her. A couple of full-grown men were bolting down the street after her. Making up her mind recklessly she ran to the passengers side of the truck and wrenched the door open, taking out, while she did, a pocket knife she'd stolen from a sleeping thug.

"Drive!" She said jumping into the car and slamming the door. The man took one look at the knife she was holding close to his side and smiled as he drove off. Slightly taken by surprise at this she pushed the knife closer to his side. "Speed the lights," She was shaken when this time when he winked at her. _This guy's crazy!_ She thought incredulously as he sped up tremendously.

"Where are you going, Sweetie?" He asked seductively. He was staring at her sideways, his tongue swiping his lips lightly.

"Anywhere far away from this town," She growled. "And if you try anything to me, I'll rip you open got it?" His smile widened and he did a sudden U-turn. "What are you doing?" She cried, pulling back the knife when she almost stabbed him in the turn.

"To Denton," He replied completely unfazed that he was almost skewered. "I don't know any of the towns that other way." She stared at him again.

"That's a six hour drive!" He nodded and gave her another sideways glance.

"How do you do? I'm Frank." He held his right hand to her while keeping his left firmly on the wheel. Suspiciously, she took it quickly and looked him over. She had to tell herself the truth: He was hot even with the make-up.

"C-Columbia," She replied quietly. He smiled again and released her hand.

"Enchanted to meet you, Columbia. What a lovely name." He said almost dreamily. She swallowed hard and they left the little town and started across a plain flat little area for about three hours. Suddenly a weird sound came from Frank. She looked at him suspiciously. He had his left arm around his stomach and had the most pitiful pout on his face that she'd ever seen.

"I'm Staaaaaaaaaarving," He complained. "There's a town coming up soon, why don't we stop for a bite?" She scowled and told him to keep driving. "But I'm hungry and it's another three hours to Denton."

"No is no. And if you even try to stop I'll k-kill you, got it?" She cursed herself for stuttering, it had sounded pretty good up until then. He never took the pout off his face while he drove through the twenty building town. Soon her stomach started aching too and she began to think longingly of the apples in her coat pocket. She'd never hear the end of it from Frank if she ate without him even if she threatened him he'd keep moaning about it she was sure. She took out the apples and Frank immediately started eyeing them. She threw one at him before he could say a word.

"Thank you, Sweetie," He caught her glare quickly. "Er, Columbia." They ate in silence with Frank giving her many perverse glances which she chose to ignore. "So, " He said after he'd finished eating and tossed his core out the window. "What are you going to do once you've reached Denton?" She shrugged and looked at the opposite window. She never really thought of what she was going to do whenever she ran away and it usually bit her in the ass. Frank was staring again and she was definitely tired of it.

"Keep your eyes on the road," She snapped.

"I know a place you could stay, Columbia." She glared at him suspiciously. "I'll show you when we get there. It'll be better than living on the streets." She didn't reply and they spent the next two and a half hours in silence. The 'Welcome to Denton' signs were springing up and she was beginning to get antsy. They began passing houses now. She must have missed the Denton city limits sign.

"You know," He said conversationally. "Every time I get in a car without Eddie someone sticks a knife in my face."

"Eddie?" She asked eager for a distraction for the next few apprehensive minutes.

"A man I met about six months ago, he taught me how to drive."

"Oh," She sighed and then noticed with a start that the houses were being replaced by trees. "Hey, where're we going?!"

"To that place you can stay." He replied calmly.

"No, nu-uh! I ain't staying anywhere you know about!" He glanced at her and a spark lit in his eyes.

"Whatever you wish," He then swerved the car into a thicket of trees, driving deep enough in so that none could see them from the street.

Columbia tried desperately to unlock the door, but it was locked and the only control for it was on the drivers side door. She pressed her back against the door and raised her knife at Frank, who had unbuckled his seat belt and was aproaching her slowly. He took the fist she held the knife with firmly and pushed it away.

"I'm not going to hurt you," He whispered moving his face ever closer to hers. She pressed hard to the door, his face was only inches from hers. "Give yourself over to pleasure. It's much better than living on the streets. I'll feed you and clothe you and give you pleasure you never thought exsisted." His voice was soft, but she caught every word. She felt her resolve thin, it did sound nicer than her life. Frank was beautiful and was offering her love, food, and a home, none of which she had ever experienced. His lips crept closer to hers. His voice had to be the most seductive she'd ever heard.

She let the knife slip into Frank's hand. Without looking away from her he stowed it in the glove box one handed, the other he brought up to her neck. His lips closed the last few inches and Columbia kissed back eagerly. She didn't care what the consequences were anymore. She was consumed with the need of his contact. Slowly she took the string on his shining corset and undid it. He helped her slip it off as he moved his lips down to her collar bone. His right leg slipped between hers and they pulled off the rest of their clothes.

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Frank awoke with absolutely no idea where he was. He felt familiar feeling of flesh pressed against his body and he opened his eyes only to have his vision obscured by vibrant red hair. Columbia he remembered suddenly. She had her arms wrapped around him firmly. He woke her with kisses along her jawline and neck.

"F-Frank?" She asked sitting up slowly. Frank followed suit only to groan with pain. He was very stiff. _Never sleep in a car again._ he told himself as he moved away from Columbia reluctantly. They gathered their clothes which were thrown haphazardly all over the small interior of the car. He found his corset on the steering wheel and one of his fishnets hanging from the rear view mirror. The rest were spread out on the seat and floor.

"What do you say to my offer now?" He asked once they were clothed and their make-up reapplied. She looked at him for a moment.

"Promise you won't ever make me leave or force me to stay?" Frank nodded and smiled.

"Come now, Magenta and Riff Raff, my assistants, will be getting antsy soon." Columbia nodded looking away from Frank, her mind realing from the sudden change in her fate. It took no more than five minutes to reach the castle from there. Columbia was amazed by it's size. Before, she had thought the mall was amazing, but it was nothing compared to this.

"What flag is that?" She asked pointing at the white strip of cloth with a lightning bolt on it that was poking up from one of the many pires.

"Transylvanian." He answered simply parking the car just outside the door. He got out and ushered Columbia through the doors.

"RIFF RAFF! MAGENTA!" He called, his voice echoing through the house. Shuffling came from up the stairs and down came a young skinny woman with flaming red hair and a balding blonde man with a very fake looking hunchback.

"Master, vho's this?" The red haired woman asked giving Frank a very evil look.

"Riff, Magenta, this is Columbia. Columbia this is Riff and Magenta. She'll be staying for now." Columbia nodded to them. They stared back. "Since no other rooms are clean, Magenta will you keep her in yours?" Magenta nodded. "Take her to the bathroom so she can get cleaned up." Magenta nodded again and dragged Columbia off by the hand. Riff scowled and as soon as they were out of sight he turned to Frank.

"Another one?" He whispered. "And this one is staying with us?" Frank nodded.

"Don't worry, I've already got a chemical fermenting that will heal the princess. She won't be a distraction." Riff eyed Frank a second before stalking off, leaving the other man disapointed by his servants reaction.

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**Not exactly like Columbia's solo in the Time Warp, but I just had this idea and I wanted to write it. Review please!**


	6. An Accident!

**Chapter six yay. I'm thankful for all the feedback, it's the most I've ever had.**

**warning: It's not much, but there is some maleXmale intamacey (anyone who watches Rocky shouldn't be creeped about that, but I thought I should warn you) if you don't want to read it, skip the part between the bold, underlined text.**

**Chapter after this is about our incest friends and then tensions start rising between Riff and Frank.**

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Eddie was beginning to worry. Every time he saw the transvestite, Frank, his heart would race and his palms would sweat. It was especially bad when Frank wore his casual clothes, nothing more than a corset, fishnets and black underwear. Eddie would catch himself staring at Frank's legs all the time and occasionally he would have a vision of himself and Frank with their limbs tangled, gasping with ecstasy. He would then shake his head and force his thoughts in another direction, but they always went back to Frank. He knew he wasn't gay, he'd loved every moment he spent with a girl. Frank was a special case for him, but he still didn't understand why.

He had promised himself to stop visiting Frank, but once again he found himself in his Mustang heading over to the castle. He parked in front and rung the bell.

"Wait for a second!" Frank's muffled voice called from the entrance hall. A bit of shuffling followed and the door creaked open. "Hello, Eddie." He said. His clothes were nothing like usual. And he was wearing pants, something had to be amiss.

"Hey, Frank, uh is there something wrong?" Frank raised an eyebrow (though Eddie, who had decided not to look at his face, didn't catch it.)

"Oh, my clothes. I just got out of the shower and didn't have time to choose my outfit." Eddie looked up accidentally. Sure enough Frank's curly locks were hanging in his face dripping and no make-up had been applied. His lips were a beautiful shade of light pink and his skin was light tan, rather than pure white. Eddies throat went dry. "Oh, Eddie, it's so boring here with only Riff Raff and Magenta."

"Wh-What happened to Columbia?" He asked still staring at this new Frank.

"She took off in the truck, she wanted to go to a concert in a town a bit East from here." Frank put on his famous pout and ushered Eddie inside, leading him into the just recently cleaned out Zen Room. "What brings you here Eddie?"

"I don't know. I was bored too, I guess." Silence for a moment. "Why don't we hit the town and have some fun?" Frank sat up and looked at Eddie.

"You know that's the best thing I've heard all day, let's g- oh, wait I need to dress first."

"Don't bother, you look fine." Eddie stood from his chair and took Frank's hand pulling him up from the couch on which he had been lounging. "Maybe no one will try and lynch you this time." Frank looked again at his clothes. He was wearing the only pair of pants he owned (they were women's pants, but even so he didn't like them), an odd red blouse, and his button and patch covered jacket. All and all you really couldn't tell he was or ever had been a transvestite. Even his boots were normal looking (one of the heels had broken, but he liked them so much that he cut off the other heel and made them wearable again).

"You are probably right, Eddie" Frank sighed then smiled again. "Let's go!" He took Eddie's hands and pulled him out the door.

**_ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, COLUMBIA LOVES FRANKIE AND JANET, BRAD, AND I DO TOO. SCREW DR. SCOTT (NO OFFESE TO SCOTT FANS)_**

It was midnight and Frank and Eddie decided to end the night by going to the drive in theatre. Frank was lounging back not really paying attention. It was _The Forbidden Planet_, a movie that Frank had seen a million times since coming to Earth , but as much as he loved it, he found himself longing for something more physical. And since he wasn't getting that he found himself growing groggy, he remembered last seeing Anne Francis talking to one of the men before he'd fallen asleep.

Eddie jumped when Frank's body suddenly slid onto his shoulder. The sweat started coming again, his heart racing, beating against his chest hard. Frank unconsciously wrapped his arms around the other man trying to bring in the warmth. Breathing hard now, Eddie grabbed Frank's hand just before it slipped into his lap. He stared at the hand a moment then brought it, palm up, to his lips. Frank stirred, but did not awaken. Eddie turned to the side pulling Frank closer with his other arm. Frank jerked and tried to move, but Eddie's arms kept him stationary.

"Eddie?" He slurred a bit confused. Eddie dropped Frank's hand and took his chin, coaxing his head upwards. Frank complied. Slowly, giving him enough time to pull away, Eddie brought his lips down upon the other mans. Frank wrapped his arms around Eddie's neck. Eddie brought his hands down to the thighs he'd stared at so many times before and slowly pulled off Frank's pants. Frank broke the kiss only or a second to remove his shirt. Eddie's kisses lowered to his neck and down his chest, with Frank's slight noises of pleasure fueling his passion. However, he wavered around his midriff, hesitating slightly. Frank barely breathed not wanting his playmate to think better of his actions. Then, suddenly he made up his mind and finished what he'd started. Frank let out a groan of pleasure, throwing his head back, but Eddie pulled back just as quickly though.

"This isn't right," He began, "Well, it feels right, but it shouldn't, ya'know?" Frank leaned closer and wrapped his arms around Eddie's neck again and leaned his head against the others.

"If it feels right, then it is right," He breathed seductively. "As long as it's pleasurable then let yourself do it. Throw away silly doubts. Oh, Eddie, you're so soft, so sensual." Frank kissed Eddie again, this time helping to remove Eddie's clothes. Eddie, needless to say, gave himself over.

**_FRANK AND EDDIE SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G. FIRST HE DOES COLUMBIA, THEN HE DOES EDDIE. HE WANTS TO DO MAGENTA, BUT RIFFY'S GOT A LASER._**

They woke about four hours after collapsing in exhaustion. Frank was mentally complaining about sleeping in a car again, while Eddie was being unusually thoughtful.

"I think I forgot to tell Riff and Magenta I'd be leaving. I wonder if they would be worried about me." Frank mused once they were dressed. He was grinning widely even though he was stiff and sore from the night in a very cramped car. Eddie grunted as a response and drove off. Frank, who had been a lot of supposedly straight guys firt male partner, knew that the thoughtful stage would come the morning after and that it was best just to leave them to it until they accepted it. Both were quiet for the rest of the relatively short ride.

Out of nowhere Frank felt himself thrown against the side of the car, his head hitting the window so hard that it (the window, not his head) shattered. Something warm and wet trickled from the back of it (his head, not the window) and down his neck. Searing, throbbing pain enveloped him and he would have sold his soul to just die or pass out, but he didn't. He forced his eyelids open and blinked to clear his vision.

Eddie leaned as far as the seat belt allowed, various wounds bleeding and staining his skin and clothing. The drivers side door was crushed up against his side with glass shards strewn across the dash board and seat. Frank's body moved numbly, of it's own accord and pulled the switch blade from Eddie's pocket. He cut through the seat belt, pulled Eddie out of the worst of the wreckage and wiped the glass away from the seats, cutting his hands badly in the process. He tried the key tentatively and the car sputtered to life. He didn't know where he was going and frankly (No pun intended) he didn't care. Dizzy and disoriented, he found it difficult to navigate the car, but his instincts kept him from slamming into trees. He didn't, however, notice his castle until he ran into it. He jerked foreward and hit the steering wheel, The windsheild smashed, showering the car with more glass. His headache blinding him, Frank stumbled out of the car sporting Eddie and a few more cuts.

"Riff Raff!.... Magenta!" He called the moment he was in the entrance hall, no one answered. He forced himself to the lift and collapsed inside once it was set in motion. He was stronger than he looked, mostly because he had had to train vigorously to become a TSS agent. He was thankful for that training and cursing his decision to join the Service in the first place. Everything on Earth seemed to want him dead, but he was hard to kill. Enemies consistantly called him a cockroach, because he survived the worst of traps they set. Several agents even called him by the name, which he didn't like, but it was useful in certain situations. The lift stopped at the lab and Frank was pulled out of his thoughts. Improvising, he wrapped a labcoat around the worst of Eddie's wounds, but the blood kept coming. He would die soon if nothing was done. Then he saw the freezer. _this'll have to work._ He thought and silently shoved Eddie into the small room and pushed the button labeled **Deep Freeze. **He fell to his knees too dizzy to stand now. Blood dripped into his face, down his chin and neck.

"RIFF! MAGENTA!" He called one last time before collapsing.

Little did he know that Riff Raff and Magenta were not in the castle, but in Denton looking for him.

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**Feedback is always welcome. Ideas, thoughts, random crap, I'll take anything. Sorry for those bold underlined things, I was bored and decided to write something goofy as story breaks. Nothing I wrote there has any meaning and can be ignored, except for the screw Scott part (He wanted Frank to die! :( )**


	7. Finding Frankie

**I'm not a big fan of this chapter. I had to make Riff and Magenta talk too much and I don't like how I ended it. I only own Arthur and seven gang members who are really annoying. This chapter has a lot of Magenta and Riffy (and Columbia in the last half). I'm getting to the point so bear with me.**

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"Master, dinner is prepared!" Magenta called like Frank had asked her to do, but there was no answer. "Master?" Riff appeared out of nowhere and gave her a one-armed hug.

"What's going on, my beauty?" He asked in his nasal monotone.

"Have you seen Frank, he's not in the lab." Riff shook his head and gave a half shrug.

"I don't know, and I don't care," Magenta sighed, he was probably goofing off again. He said he had a fool proof antidote that would save the princess, but Magenta, who had had several medical classes with Frank wasn't so sure the princess, being only six years old, could take such a strong substance. It was practically like acid to glass and had to be moved to a different container every day. Frank proved that it was safe by pouring a couple of drops on his own arm, but he was a trained TSS agent and a full grown Transylvanian man. She pushed the thought out of her mind when Riff made a noise.

"I wonder," He whispered. Magenta looked at him for a moment.

"Vonder vhat?"

"That... delivery boy (he made a face at the mention of him) Came earlier, perhaps-"

"Frank left vith him," His sister finished for him. "Zat IDIOT!" Riff gave a nod in agreement. They looked at each other quietly, practically reading each others mind. They grabbed their coats and Franks car keys (for by this time he had three cars and a motorcycle) and dashed out the door.

On the ride Magenta debated on whether her Riff drove like a madman or an expert. They entered the Denton city limits in half the time it took Frank, speeding past the other cars with precise, sharp turns of the wheel. Then he spun into a parking lot and skidded to a stop.

"Where do you think he would go?" He asked the mad gleam that had been in his eyes while driving dieing.

"Uh, Vhat do you think?"

"What's he like?" Magenta thought.

"vomen's clothing, sex, hot people, sex, movies, sex, science...."

"And what does Eddie like?"

"How ze heck should I know?" She snapped, but humoured him anyway. "Uh, stabbing people, from vhat Frank's said, drugs, motorcycles, music...uh," Riff's thin lips twitched with concentration.

"A club, perhaps, or the movie theatre, or maybe our idiot partner has finally gotten the man and they just went to a hotel..."

"If he seduced him vhy not just do it at ze castle?" Magenta mused. Riff just nodded at her and remained quiet. "Vell, vhy don't ve drive around avhile, maybe ve'll get lucky and just run him over."

"Hmm, yes, run him over..." Riff replied, still deep in thought as he sped down the road. Magenta stared at the buildings passing her, her eyes half-lidded with disinterest.

"Vhat in hell is making zat noise?" She asked annoyed by the wailing noise that had started a few minutes after they had started going again.

"It's coming from that car behind us," Riff said simply, but he too was clearly annoyed with the noise. "I'm going to stop and let them pass us." And so he did, but as Frank's car stopped so did the flashing noisy car behind them. Two men dressed all in black with guns on their belts stepped out of their vehicle and approached Riff and Magenta. One knocked on the window on Riff's side. The thin man cracked it open an inch.

"What do you want?" He asked bluntly. The man at the window gave him a strange look.

"You under arrest." He said after regaining his composure.

"What?"

"Under arrest, for major speeding violations."

"Speeding violations?"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to exit your vehicle."

"Why should I?" He asked the strange man suspiciously.

"I'm an officer of the law."

"Police look veird on zis pla-I mean, in zis country," Magenta whispered to her brother.

"Yes," Riff said without taking his eyes off the man before him. Slowly he opened the door and stepped out.

"Explain to me again what the charges are, officer," He said leaning closer to the taller man, but despite the height difference, Riff still seemed to tower over him.

"For speeding," Then he caught Riff Raff's breath and added. "And driving under the influence." Magenta stepped out of the car and joined her brother.

"Influence ov vhat?" She asked glaring at the man, her wrath evident in her eyes.

"Alcohol!" He snapped getting angry at their overt obtuseness.

"It's not against the law to drink is it?" Magenta retorted.

"You have the right to remain silent." He seethed, fed up with their arguing with him. He managed to get them into the back seat of his car without too much difficulty and he and his partner drove off with them. He was thankful for the short ride and doubly thankful to abandon them in a holding cell.

"Damn foreigners," he muttered to his partner as they left.

Magenta shouted at their retreating forms in vain. Another man came up to their cell.

"Ya want yer phone call now or later?" He asked. Magenta stared at him blankly, but Riff answered.

"Now," She gave him a vhat-ze-bloody-hell-is-going-on look that was returned with the trust-me-it's-an-Earth-thing look, which she had become accustomed to since coming there. The guard led Riff Raff to the phone area first and he dialled the number to the castle, hoping that Frank was there and hoping that he remembered how to answer a phone (neither of his hopes came true because at about this time Frank was moaning with ecstasy as our friend, Eddie, undressed him). The dial tone kept ringing and ringing until the officer with him got fed up with waiting and made him hang up.

He was led back to Magenta and whispered into her ear.

"Frank either still isn't there or isn't answering the phone. Dial these numbers in the phone to get Columbia (I'm aware that cell phones were huge and probably expensive back then, but we'll pretend Frank bought her one) : 353-7206"

"353-7206" Magenta repeated softly, following the guard out to the phone. She dialled the number quickly, but the phone just started emitting weird noises. "Hey you. Vhat's zis noise mean?" She growled thrusting the phone at the man.

"It's busy, whoever yer callin' is already on the phone with some other guy," Much to her protesting, the guard hung up the phone and took her back to her cell. She shot a look of defeat at her brother/lover. He nodded slightly in return.

"The communication device," He said once they were alone again. Magenta got the hint and pulled out a small purple and silver thing and started messing with it. It was another ingenious invention of Frank's, though Frank never carried one. The device sent brain waves from one person to another so it was almost impossible to infiltrate. They were made specifically for the TSS, but Frank had given one to Columbia anyway. When she was out he would steal Magenta's and call her. Magenta got the thing working and it started flashing. Magenta put it to her ear and she heard Columbia's squeak in her head.

"Frankie?!" Magenta grimaced at the nickname.

"No, Magenta," She replied. As much as she had come to like the groupie, having that voice transferred directly into her head was not fun. She decided to play on Columbia's weakness to get her to hurry. "Ve think somezing terrible happened to the Master. Ve vent to look for him, but ze police arrested us as ve vere driving." Columbia gasped when she heard the part about Frank and started to panic.

"Oh God. Frankie!" She cried into Magenta's head. "What should I do?"

"Get here as fast as possible get us out and zen ve can look for ze Master together."

"Okay, I'll get going, but it'll be, like, a three hour drive."

"Vhatever, just go!" And with that Magenta disconnected their brains and nodded to her brother. She put away the device just as the guard came back. until Columbia got there they'd just have to sit there and glare at their watcher.

_**He'll be coming outa the shadows when he comes, Riff'll be coming outa the shadows when he comes, he'll be comig outa the shadows, coming outa the shadows,*huf huf***_

Columbia was panicking all throughout the ride back to Denton and it took all her self control not to speed. She pulled into the driveway of the police station and bolted into the door.

"Hey you!" She called to the first person she saw. He stared at her dumbly. "Yeah you. Have you seen a balding blonde guy, who reminds you of Igor and a red head with an accent?" He thought for a second.

"Yeah, they're in the holding cell." Columbia was relieved not to have to look any farther.

"Is there, like, a bail I can pay to get them out?" She asked.

"Uhh... yeah, yeah there is." He said. ( I have no idea how to get someone out of jail so insert that here.) Upon freeing them, Columbia grabbed them and sprinted back to the truck.

"Where could Frankie be?" Magenta shrugged, stiff from sitting so still for so long.

"He's vith Eddie so let's check ze bars, ze clubs, ze alleyways, and ze theatres."

"Oka- hold on, how come you think he's in danger if he's with Eddie?"

"Ve have just received vord that Eddie plans to give Master to his new gang and lynch him to show how tough he is," Magenta lied through her teeth. Columbia gasped and drove off without saying another word. It took them two hours to scour the city, but found no sign of Frank and no one they asked at the establishments had seen a transvestite (he's not in trannie clothes, remember. How ingenious of me.) with a biker. Finally they decided to check the castle, just in case. It loomed larger as Columbia drove them closer and a feeling of dread washed over her. A kind of premonition. Finally the castle grounds came into view and nobody was prepared to see Eddie's car crashed into the wall next to the entrance. The castle door was wide open, but no lights were on. Columbia hit the breaks and all three dashed out of the car and into the house. It was morning now and the sun gleamed through the windows casting a strange orange light in the rooms, giving them an abandon empty feeling. Riff Raff was the first to note that the lift was up and the trio darted up the stairs.

"Columbia, vhat I said about Eddie lynching Master vas a load of bull shit, I'll explain later." Columbia was taken aback by this revelation, but had no time to absorb it for they had come to the wall that blocked the lab from the stairs. Thinking quick Riff took a mace from one of the suits of armour and offered it to Magenta, who had training using weapons like that. She gave the door a hearty whack and the wall gained a large hole and with two or three more well placed hits opened it enough for them to enter.

"Frankie," Columbia managed in a strangled whisper. The familiar form of her lover lay on the floor next to a red operation table, blood pooling around his head slowly. She didn't hesitate as she ran forward to kneel next to his body. He had no make up on and his face was smeared with blood. Riff and Magenta approached more slowly the later kneeling the same way Columbia had. Magenta touched Frank's shoulder gingerly. Both females were relieved to see him stir. Riff Raff kept his face carefully devoid of emotion as the transvestite flinched and moved a hand to his head.

"Frank, don't move" Columbia whispered in a voice so soft that it took the siblings by surprise. "We'll help you." He cringed with pain as he stubbornly tried to sit up.

"C-Columbia?" He whispered cracking his eyes open slightly. Columbia took him in her arms and he collapsed into them thankfully. "Crash..." He mumbled. "Eddie... freezer," Riff understood his words and pushed the button next to the red door. The freezer opened like a drawbridge revealing the unconscious form of the biker amidst the smoke. Columbia drew a breath in at the sight of him. Eddie had been her latest fling, since Frank had shown her the ways of pleasure. Frank was her true love, but Eddie was a close second and a good friend. "he's hurt... maybe fatal... Arthur," Frank gasped from his groupie's arms. Magenta was the one to act on these words. She turned on the monitor and threw a special hidden switch, the screen flickered on and a man with long black hair that was tied back loosely, a thin handsome face, and midnight blue eyes appeared there.

"Magenta?" The rich slightly accented voice stated in mild surprise. "What is your business with me?" Magenta bowed low and replied.

"Frank-N-Furter has been involved in an accident, Chief." Columbia stared at the monitor, holding Frank to her chest firmly. She had been told of Transsexual, Transylvania shortly after her arrival at the Frankenstein Place, but it all seemed surreal to her.

"An accident," The man whom she guessed was Arthur repeated incredulously. "Surely he's not that stupid. What kind of accident? And who is that girl ?" He added upon catching sight of Columbia.

"A car crash and this girl is Columbia Ventura (Sorry Ariel, if you read this, I can't think of anything else.)" Magenta said "An Earthling who has shown us Earth ways." Arthur considered her a moment then turned his attention to the man in her arms.

"I'll beam myself over there and see what I can manage," He said. "I'm not as good a doctor as Frank, but I'll try."

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**There ya folks go, hopefully I'm just being pessimistic when I say it's terrible. **

**What comes next? you ask. I dunno. I'm just making it up as I go along. R&R please.**


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